Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
