Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
