he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
