but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
