once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
