Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
