I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
A bitchslap is in order.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
