I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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