I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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