I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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