Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
