My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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