I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and she was petting her beer can
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
