why didn't you poke me back
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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