grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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