and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
