Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
