Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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