shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
