You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
