I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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