No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
