Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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