Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
tell me about the eggs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
