This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
