420 ftw
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
