I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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