I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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