He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
