i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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