even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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