So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
They took my balls.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
