why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
