He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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