He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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