I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
