Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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