If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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