So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
