Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
