Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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