i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Randomize
