Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
