I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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