they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
