But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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