Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
