I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
