the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
