when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
