i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
